---
Apparently, Sheikh Mohammed, the Ruler of Dubai, has cancelled all New Year Fesitivities in Dubai in solidarity with the suffering of the Gaza people who are currently being murdered by the treachourous and racist Zionist.
While I admire this effort, I sincerely hope that the Westerners in Dubai will appreciate this initiative and be understanding of the reasons behind it. After all, they do live in a Middle Eastern country and should have share some of our regional concerns. This will hopefully encourage some of them to realize the justness of the Palestianian cause. In fact, if a simple minority of them are inspired to try and find out more about what is happening regionally and why, then it will be a success. However, I am afraid that the majority in Dubai will whine about this decision.
Will other Arab nations do the same? Unfortunately, I think not.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
No more options for Palestians after Gaza massacre
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What do I say? What do I write? Yesterday, the Israelis murdered over 200 people in Gaza via horrific air strikes that randomly targeted security installations for Hamas, a mosque and a TV station. This was in apparent response to the firing of rockets from the Gaza strip into Israeli towns. As per Israeli’s political and arrogant leaders, the response was necessary and they had no other alternative.
Now, I can condemn and criticize this rationale, but I realize the futility of doing so. The US has blamed Hamas for the escalation and we Arabs are powerless to do anything about it while we are run by weak governments who are useless except for issuing condemnations and rhetoric. The Arab people feel the pain of the Gaza people who have been suffering atrocities for so long at the hands of the Israelis. We will express our solidarity with them and pray that the international community rushes to their aid with much needed medical supplies and the lifting of the blockade.
However, the more important thing is to point out the options for the Palestinians. They have been in peace negotiations with the Israelis for over 17 years now (ever since the Madrid Peace Talks of 1991). What has that achieved? I regret to say absolutely nothing. The Palestinian people remain under occupation with Israel restricting their access to freedom more than ever. They are in a collective prison with basic food stuff and medical equipment entering the strip only at the whim of their Israeli warden. Is this the peace of the brave or the will of the international community? What are the civilians supposed to do? The only solution is resistance, and most importantly the military type.
This is the only alternative that Palestinians are faced with. After all, peace was given many chances to flourish. Numerous times the Arab regimes expressed the will to have peace with Israel which has always been neglected. Israel continues to show its aggression via negotiating everything and continuing with its expansion of settlements. This is not acceptable and has placed the Palestinians in a catch 20/20 situation.
Thus, if we are doomed to suffer, then let us do it with dignity. We will continue to resist the Israeli colonial power forever. Just because we do not have the military power to successfully resist does not mean that we have to accept it. The world community can help us in this endeavor or continue to turn a blind eye to Israeli encroachment and aggression. I do not really care!
God bless Palestine, the martyrs, and all people with a conscience! May we have victory or at least die trying to achieve freedom. Nothing is more important.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Camping in the Desert
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This post is directed to all of you that currently live in any of the GCC countries. Yesterday, I attended a safari (desert trip) which was organized by a colleague of mine on an individual initiative. It was great fun, except for the fall that I had on the ATV, but that is another story. About 30 colleagues and their friends were there which definitely added to the fun. There are three general categories of desert campers which I will refer to as a) hard-core, b) experienced, and c) rookies (aka tourists).
The rookies are the ones whom I feel are missing out on something beautiful and great that exists right in their backyard which they do not really appreciate. They come out only if others encourgage them to do so. They are apprehensive about the whole adventure and have been "softened" by the luxury of Dubai to enjoy roughing it in the wild. Their initial experience and their attitude to the minor problems that pop up (4x4 getting stuck, minor injuries, missing stuff, ruined food due to sand, and ruined mobiles) determine whether they never try it out again or look forward to graduating to experienced status.
The "experienced" of which I am one, have been on several outdoors adventures in the past and have come to appreciate it. They know the advantages and beauty of going camping and love the chance to tag-along. They have the essentials available in their homes and can get ready in a short period of time. After all, all you need as bare essentials are: a sleeping bag, a small tent, flashlight, change of clothes with a sweater or jacket, a rubbish bin, and the company of at least one hard-core camper.
The hard-core campers are the ones who do this activity regularly over the weekend during the 6 months of the year when the weather is pleasant enough. They have a 4X4 and know how to go dune-bashing. They also know how to solve the minor problems that will always pop up. They have at least one ATV or off-road motorcylce (or dune buggy or similar thing). They have a first aid kit with them. They have the tucking ropes, extra petrol containers, a mini barbque set. They know the spots and have been there so many times. They are the leaders of the expidition and their attitude can make it extremely pleasant for all the people joining the expedition.
The advantages of camping in the desert are:
1) Great de-stressing activity
2) Appreciating the simples luxuries of life
3) Men going back to the rough and wild times.
So, enjoy camping people and be sure to invite me to your next camping outing.
This post is directed to all of you that currently live in any of the GCC countries. Yesterday, I attended a safari (desert trip) which was organized by a colleague of mine on an individual initiative. It was great fun, except for the fall that I had on the ATV, but that is another story. About 30 colleagues and their friends were there which definitely added to the fun. There are three general categories of desert campers which I will refer to as a) hard-core, b) experienced, and c) rookies (aka tourists).
The rookies are the ones whom I feel are missing out on something beautiful and great that exists right in their backyard which they do not really appreciate. They come out only if others encourgage them to do so. They are apprehensive about the whole adventure and have been "softened" by the luxury of Dubai to enjoy roughing it in the wild. Their initial experience and their attitude to the minor problems that pop up (4x4 getting stuck, minor injuries, missing stuff, ruined food due to sand, and ruined mobiles) determine whether they never try it out again or look forward to graduating to experienced status.
The "experienced" of which I am one, have been on several outdoors adventures in the past and have come to appreciate it. They know the advantages and beauty of going camping and love the chance to tag-along. They have the essentials available in their homes and can get ready in a short period of time. After all, all you need as bare essentials are: a sleeping bag, a small tent, flashlight, change of clothes with a sweater or jacket, a rubbish bin, and the company of at least one hard-core camper.
The hard-core campers are the ones who do this activity regularly over the weekend during the 6 months of the year when the weather is pleasant enough. They have a 4X4 and know how to go dune-bashing. They also know how to solve the minor problems that will always pop up. They have at least one ATV or off-road motorcylce (or dune buggy or similar thing). They have a first aid kit with them. They have the tucking ropes, extra petrol containers, a mini barbque set. They know the spots and have been there so many times. They are the leaders of the expidition and their attitude can make it extremely pleasant for all the people joining the expedition.
The advantages of camping in the desert are:
1) Great de-stressing activity
2) Appreciating the simples luxuries of life
3) Men going back to the rough and wild times.
So, enjoy camping people and be sure to invite me to your next camping outing.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
A Basic Explanation of the Global Credit Crunch
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At the outset, let me point out that I am not a financial expert, but one who has an active hobby in understanding finance and economics. My MBA degree also lends me certain credibility in this sphere. I will attempt to give a basic explanation of what happened during the past week in the financial crises that has wiped out people’s savings and fueled panic selling making markets lose 30% of their capitalization amounting to billions and billions of dollars.
The main reason (and there are many other reasons that have contributed to it) behind was a strategic planning mistake by the US banks. Instead of assessing the credit worthiness of the applicants and their ability to make the monthly payments when applying for loans, especially home purchases, they assessed the amount of credit based upon the current market valuation of the actual homes. Well, once the economy was healthy and booming with the prices of homes increasing on a regular basis, this was fine. However, it transferred the risk to the banks and this was the strategic mistake once the economy slowed down.
When they attempted to get rid of these home assets (once they reposed them), they could not at the price they had valued them in their balance sheets. Thus, a fire-sale ensued which led to huge write-offs.
The other strategic mistake is that they collateralized these mortgages to be able to take out more credit from other banks and become more aggressive. Thus, the domino effect happened and with one bank going down, the rest had to follow. That is why the bank bail-out was so important and the government having to guarantee people’s deposits. Otherwise, the ramifications would have been unthinkable.
However, I do not understand how this got translated towards the Arab world whereas the stock markets have shed about 20-30% of their market value over the past week. After all, accessing credit in the Middle East is a lot harder and restrictive than the Western world. In addition, there is only a small portion of mortgages as a percentage of banks’ portfolios relative to the Western world. Moreover, the high price of oil (which is our main produced component) shows no sign of easing or disappearing. In other words, our fundamentals are still strong. So, who can explain it to me?
One person who is a director for a reputed financial institution told me that if the market prices of real estate go down (and not maintain their prices within Dubai specifically and the Middle East in general), then we will see the effects over here. However, he also assured me that the sovereign wealth funds would be more than able to compensate by shifting their money from the Western world to the local country. With the stock markets collapsing as they are, let us all hope that we do not see this doomday scenario.
At the outset, let me point out that I am not a financial expert, but one who has an active hobby in understanding finance and economics. My MBA degree also lends me certain credibility in this sphere. I will attempt to give a basic explanation of what happened during the past week in the financial crises that has wiped out people’s savings and fueled panic selling making markets lose 30% of their capitalization amounting to billions and billions of dollars.
The main reason (and there are many other reasons that have contributed to it) behind was a strategic planning mistake by the US banks. Instead of assessing the credit worthiness of the applicants and their ability to make the monthly payments when applying for loans, especially home purchases, they assessed the amount of credit based upon the current market valuation of the actual homes. Well, once the economy was healthy and booming with the prices of homes increasing on a regular basis, this was fine. However, it transferred the risk to the banks and this was the strategic mistake once the economy slowed down.
When they attempted to get rid of these home assets (once they reposed them), they could not at the price they had valued them in their balance sheets. Thus, a fire-sale ensued which led to huge write-offs.
The other strategic mistake is that they collateralized these mortgages to be able to take out more credit from other banks and become more aggressive. Thus, the domino effect happened and with one bank going down, the rest had to follow. That is why the bank bail-out was so important and the government having to guarantee people’s deposits. Otherwise, the ramifications would have been unthinkable.
However, I do not understand how this got translated towards the Arab world whereas the stock markets have shed about 20-30% of their market value over the past week. After all, accessing credit in the Middle East is a lot harder and restrictive than the Western world. In addition, there is only a small portion of mortgages as a percentage of banks’ portfolios relative to the Western world. Moreover, the high price of oil (which is our main produced component) shows no sign of easing or disappearing. In other words, our fundamentals are still strong. So, who can explain it to me?
One person who is a director for a reputed financial institution told me that if the market prices of real estate go down (and not maintain their prices within Dubai specifically and the Middle East in general), then we will see the effects over here. However, he also assured me that the sovereign wealth funds would be more than able to compensate by shifting their money from the Western world to the local country. With the stock markets collapsing as they are, let us all hope that we do not see this doomday scenario.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Mosiac of Airports in the UAE
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One week ago, at daybreak, I arrived to Amman from Al Ain International Airport. Yes, I am as surprised as you are since about 12 hours prior to that, I was not aware that Al Ain had an international airport. Well, it is interesting how I ended up at this airport which I will relay to yourselves just now.
Doing a bit of pre-planning, I anticipated that there was going to be a rush for airline tickets during the Eid holidays and thus, I searched for a booking over 2 months ago while I was in Jordan for my summer holidays. Emirates airlines’ flight were already closed and Air Arabia’s prices were not that enticing. So, I ended up booking a Royal Jordanian flight via the internet. It was convenient as it would be departing at 3pm on Thursday so that I can end up breaking the fast in Amman with my parents and siblings and gain one extra day of holidays. In addition, I had traveled with Royal Jordanian airlines during the summer and their service was improved from the 90s when I used to travel during my college days.
Anyway, with the web-based electronic ticket booked and paid for, I did not pay much attention to it until it was too late. Apparently, Royal Jordanian had done a rescheduling of their flight from Dubai and changed it to an 1pm departure timing. Since I did not have a phone number listed, there was no one to call me about the change. My parents were able to find out that there was a Royal Jordanian flight with one seat available from Al Ain Airport. I quickly reserved on it and arranged for a ride to there at midnight.
During my ten years living and working in Dubai, I have had the opportunity to travel from 5 international airports within the UAE. They are Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Sharjah, Ras Al Khaimah (which is a story in itself for another post), and Al Ain airports. The busiest and most advanced is Dubai whereas it has become one of the busiest airports in the world with thriving duty free shops and facilities. For example, there is a laundry branch there whereas you can pick up/deliver your laundry for frequent travelers who reside in the city. During the holiday season (especially at Christmas and New Years), the airport becomes extremely busy and overcrowded with many travelers stretched across the vast passenger terminal. Abu Dhabi’s airport is just as advanced especially with the emergence of Etihad Airlines, but it smaller and not as busy. It bodes well for its future with expansion plans in place to cope with the increasing traffic, but still has not reached Dubai’s status.
Sharjah’s airport is simple (its design is similar to Al Ain’s), but has started to become livelier with Air Arabia operating from there. However, it is representative of the status of Sharjah meaning that Sharjah residents tend to be people in lower-paying jobs who seek affordability. Thus, Air Arabia is a budget airline and the bulk of the passengers are budget travelers with the airport’s facilities catering to that category of people. However, this was a smart move as it certainly occupies a niche being extremely close to Dubai’s airport (only half an hour drive away).
Ras Al Khaimah is by far the smallest airport (although Al Ain might be tied with it). In 2001, it only handled 28,000 passengers. There are only 3 passport counters with Al Ain having four.All of these airports reflect the status and character of the cities they serve. Generally, I believe this is true of all airports in the world. To get an impression of the city, one needs only see the airport. Ironically, that is usually a person’s first interaction with the city that they are visiting.
One week ago, at daybreak, I arrived to Amman from Al Ain International Airport. Yes, I am as surprised as you are since about 12 hours prior to that, I was not aware that Al Ain had an international airport. Well, it is interesting how I ended up at this airport which I will relay to yourselves just now.
Doing a bit of pre-planning, I anticipated that there was going to be a rush for airline tickets during the Eid holidays and thus, I searched for a booking over 2 months ago while I was in Jordan for my summer holidays. Emirates airlines’ flight were already closed and Air Arabia’s prices were not that enticing. So, I ended up booking a Royal Jordanian flight via the internet. It was convenient as it would be departing at 3pm on Thursday so that I can end up breaking the fast in Amman with my parents and siblings and gain one extra day of holidays. In addition, I had traveled with Royal Jordanian airlines during the summer and their service was improved from the 90s when I used to travel during my college days.
Anyway, with the web-based electronic ticket booked and paid for, I did not pay much attention to it until it was too late. Apparently, Royal Jordanian had done a rescheduling of their flight from Dubai and changed it to an 1pm departure timing. Since I did not have a phone number listed, there was no one to call me about the change. My parents were able to find out that there was a Royal Jordanian flight with one seat available from Al Ain Airport. I quickly reserved on it and arranged for a ride to there at midnight.
During my ten years living and working in Dubai, I have had the opportunity to travel from 5 international airports within the UAE. They are Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Sharjah, Ras Al Khaimah (which is a story in itself for another post), and Al Ain airports. The busiest and most advanced is Dubai whereas it has become one of the busiest airports in the world with thriving duty free shops and facilities. For example, there is a laundry branch there whereas you can pick up/deliver your laundry for frequent travelers who reside in the city. During the holiday season (especially at Christmas and New Years), the airport becomes extremely busy and overcrowded with many travelers stretched across the vast passenger terminal. Abu Dhabi’s airport is just as advanced especially with the emergence of Etihad Airlines, but it smaller and not as busy. It bodes well for its future with expansion plans in place to cope with the increasing traffic, but still has not reached Dubai’s status.
Sharjah’s airport is simple (its design is similar to Al Ain’s), but has started to become livelier with Air Arabia operating from there. However, it is representative of the status of Sharjah meaning that Sharjah residents tend to be people in lower-paying jobs who seek affordability. Thus, Air Arabia is a budget airline and the bulk of the passengers are budget travelers with the airport’s facilities catering to that category of people. However, this was a smart move as it certainly occupies a niche being extremely close to Dubai’s airport (only half an hour drive away).
Ras Al Khaimah is by far the smallest airport (although Al Ain might be tied with it). In 2001, it only handled 28,000 passengers. There are only 3 passport counters with Al Ain having four.All of these airports reflect the status and character of the cities they serve. Generally, I believe this is true of all airports in the world. To get an impression of the city, one needs only see the airport. Ironically, that is usually a person’s first interaction with the city that they are visiting.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Seperation of Identity and Self
--
First I must apologize for not posting earlier since I have been on vacation spending the Eid Holidays with my parents in Jordan. On this occasion, I would like to extend Eid greetings to all hoping that the Almighty grants everyone the strength and health to enjoy many more Ramadans and subsequent Eids with their loved ones and family. For my family it was great as all my siblings and I were gathered under our parent’s roof for two consecutive days. This has not happened for an extremely long time.
The subject of this post is derived from an earlier conversation with my brother. For background, I had visited my brother, who lives and works in the Cleveland, Ohio within the United States. As this was my first visit to him ever since he had gotten married, my brother was excited and proud to show me the city he works in. Having not been to the United States for over 6 years (my last visit was the summer of 2002), and being indulged/engaged in the modernity and sophistication of Dubai, I was critical. Please allow me to elaborate.
In the 70s and 80s, the Middle East region was 3rd world. Its infrastructure was retarded and had not evolved for a long time. Thus, the standard of excellence was the Western world (mainly the United States). The Arabs viewed the Western world with admiration as its standards of living and the amenities it offered far exceeding those of the Arab world. However, the equation has changed where the Arab world, and especially the Gulf countries, utilized their petro-dollars to develop their cities’ infrastructure and facilities. In addition, a new educated generation emerged who helped develop their countries even further. With urban planners having healthy financial budgets and an almost blank slate to work with, the foundations of development in these cities utilized the most advanced developments and technology to really built up top-notch facilities and buildings. Thus, Arab cities became modern and highly advanced cities. With these modern cities came modern facilities and services. Thus, we Arabs have become lucky to enjoy a high standard of living in our cities and have become used to it, and we caught up to the United States and exceeded it in some aspects. At least this happened in Dubai and was the basis of my critical appraisal of Cleveland.
However, my brother took my critical viewpoint of Cleveland as if he was responsible and that was the source of his irritation. I did not understand that. Now, I get to the subject of this post. It seems that it is part of human nature to identify with the city that you are currently residing in. It becomes a part of your identity and who you are. A person can carry many identifications; his own personality, his religion, his citizenship, his family, and his company. Sometimes, that identification becomes so blurred whereas a person criticizes something that one identifies with and that second person feels as if the criticism is directed towards him. Thus, the person becomes defensive.
I have two thoughts on that and I do not know which one is more appropriate. On the one hand, everyone has a natural tendency to have a sense of belonging. After all, human beings are social animals and need a sense of belonging to have a sense of purpose in their lives. They might try to alleviate the perceived shortcomings of their society via directly or indirectly discussing it and trying to change it for the better. They also proudly attach themselves to the success of their community/society although they might not have contributed any part in it. For example, a city baseball team wins the World Series and you are smiling and proud of it although you do not follow baseball at all. It is an interesting phenomenon.
However, the other side of the coin is that people must learn to detach themselves emotionally from things they identify with. For instance, my brother is not the mayor of Cleveland nor is he working as a city official. Thus, if anyone critiques an aspect of the city, my brother can agree with it or disagree. However in the grand scheme of things, it is about acceptance of others’ opinions without necessarily agreeing with them on the subject.
To be able to separate one emotionally from issues and not take them personally is one way for the whole world to get along. Although it is extremely difficult, it is an ideal that we should all strive to do. It would make the world a happier, more splendid place to live in. Do you not agree?
First I must apologize for not posting earlier since I have been on vacation spending the Eid Holidays with my parents in Jordan. On this occasion, I would like to extend Eid greetings to all hoping that the Almighty grants everyone the strength and health to enjoy many more Ramadans and subsequent Eids with their loved ones and family. For my family it was great as all my siblings and I were gathered under our parent’s roof for two consecutive days. This has not happened for an extremely long time.
The subject of this post is derived from an earlier conversation with my brother. For background, I had visited my brother, who lives and works in the Cleveland, Ohio within the United States. As this was my first visit to him ever since he had gotten married, my brother was excited and proud to show me the city he works in. Having not been to the United States for over 6 years (my last visit was the summer of 2002), and being indulged/engaged in the modernity and sophistication of Dubai, I was critical. Please allow me to elaborate.
In the 70s and 80s, the Middle East region was 3rd world. Its infrastructure was retarded and had not evolved for a long time. Thus, the standard of excellence was the Western world (mainly the United States). The Arabs viewed the Western world with admiration as its standards of living and the amenities it offered far exceeding those of the Arab world. However, the equation has changed where the Arab world, and especially the Gulf countries, utilized their petro-dollars to develop their cities’ infrastructure and facilities. In addition, a new educated generation emerged who helped develop their countries even further. With urban planners having healthy financial budgets and an almost blank slate to work with, the foundations of development in these cities utilized the most advanced developments and technology to really built up top-notch facilities and buildings. Thus, Arab cities became modern and highly advanced cities. With these modern cities came modern facilities and services. Thus, we Arabs have become lucky to enjoy a high standard of living in our cities and have become used to it, and we caught up to the United States and exceeded it in some aspects. At least this happened in Dubai and was the basis of my critical appraisal of Cleveland.
However, my brother took my critical viewpoint of Cleveland as if he was responsible and that was the source of his irritation. I did not understand that. Now, I get to the subject of this post. It seems that it is part of human nature to identify with the city that you are currently residing in. It becomes a part of your identity and who you are. A person can carry many identifications; his own personality, his religion, his citizenship, his family, and his company. Sometimes, that identification becomes so blurred whereas a person criticizes something that one identifies with and that second person feels as if the criticism is directed towards him. Thus, the person becomes defensive.
I have two thoughts on that and I do not know which one is more appropriate. On the one hand, everyone has a natural tendency to have a sense of belonging. After all, human beings are social animals and need a sense of belonging to have a sense of purpose in their lives. They might try to alleviate the perceived shortcomings of their society via directly or indirectly discussing it and trying to change it for the better. They also proudly attach themselves to the success of their community/society although they might not have contributed any part in it. For example, a city baseball team wins the World Series and you are smiling and proud of it although you do not follow baseball at all. It is an interesting phenomenon.
However, the other side of the coin is that people must learn to detach themselves emotionally from things they identify with. For instance, my brother is not the mayor of Cleveland nor is he working as a city official. Thus, if anyone critiques an aspect of the city, my brother can agree with it or disagree. However in the grand scheme of things, it is about acceptance of others’ opinions without necessarily agreeing with them on the subject.
To be able to separate one emotionally from issues and not take them personally is one way for the whole world to get along. Although it is extremely difficult, it is an ideal that we should all strive to do. It would make the world a happier, more splendid place to live in. Do you not agree?
Friday, September 19, 2008
The 3 Stages of Marriage
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A recent post about the number of divorces in Egypt last year (75,000) and bloggers explanations of the reasons behind the rise in divorces inspired me to share a bit of wisdom from a psychologist’s perspective. This psychologist has a pretty exclusive practice in Dubai, is considered an expert, has published books, and charges a hefty price ($300/hour) according to my friend. My friend is receiving marriage counseling from him and I share the information with you about the stages of marriage.
Now, please note that I am not an expert on this subject, as I have still not been married (I just have not found the correct person yet). I just thought that due to the universality of marriage, it would be great to enrich people and see their viewpoints on it.
The first stage is referred to as “the honeymoon stage.” It is when the people first meet and start enjoying each other’s company. Both parties enjoy this stage tremendously as it is composed of laughter, fun and dates. They enjoy spending time together and engaging in activities that they both enjoy. When they are apart, they miss each other and look forward to their next meeting. Time is spent being silly on the phone and daydreaming of the other one. They walk around with a grin and people notice that they are happy. This can last all the way from initial dates until they are married and living together. This is the period whereas everyone hopes can last forever.
The second stage is referred to as “the serious stage.” This is where the couple has been together and has to start making serious decisions about their life. Where will they live? Do they want children and when? How many children do they want? How will they earn a living? Who will they associate with and what are their future plans? It involves serious discussions between both of them as these decisions are life-altering and the outcome will determine how they live their life. All of a sudden, reality strikes and gone are the days of the honeymoon where it was all about fun and games.
The third and final stage is “the commitment stage.” This is whereas the couple and their offspring became so attached to each other that they are one and the same. The number one priority for each is the other as it defines who they are. It takes precedence over all other things (e.g. career, work, vacation, and travel). Hereby, compromise for the good of the whole family is the most important parameter in any decision. Here routine sets in as your direction in life with your partner is defined and you are going via the motions. However, it is not necessarily bad as it is the ultimate and final stage of marriage that leaves it stable and gives it an essence of normalcy.
Apparently, all marriages/relationships go through these stages. Some stages can last a short time while others can last forever. Problems stem when one cannot make the move from one stage to the other. An example, a person who is addicted to the fun of the honeymoon stage runs away and seeks fun elsewhere when his significant other wants to move to the serious stage. The non-ability of both partners to move through the stages together spells the doom of marriages. Please note that there are times when you briefly move to another stage while your essence is in another stage. Also, there is a bit of overlap between the 3 stages and this is quite normal.
So what are your thoughts? Which stage are you in? When can I reach the honeymoon stage? When can you move from one stage to the next?
A recent post about the number of divorces in Egypt last year (75,000) and bloggers explanations of the reasons behind the rise in divorces inspired me to share a bit of wisdom from a psychologist’s perspective. This psychologist has a pretty exclusive practice in Dubai, is considered an expert, has published books, and charges a hefty price ($300/hour) according to my friend. My friend is receiving marriage counseling from him and I share the information with you about the stages of marriage.
Now, please note that I am not an expert on this subject, as I have still not been married (I just have not found the correct person yet). I just thought that due to the universality of marriage, it would be great to enrich people and see their viewpoints on it.
The first stage is referred to as “the honeymoon stage.” It is when the people first meet and start enjoying each other’s company. Both parties enjoy this stage tremendously as it is composed of laughter, fun and dates. They enjoy spending time together and engaging in activities that they both enjoy. When they are apart, they miss each other and look forward to their next meeting. Time is spent being silly on the phone and daydreaming of the other one. They walk around with a grin and people notice that they are happy. This can last all the way from initial dates until they are married and living together. This is the period whereas everyone hopes can last forever.
The second stage is referred to as “the serious stage.” This is where the couple has been together and has to start making serious decisions about their life. Where will they live? Do they want children and when? How many children do they want? How will they earn a living? Who will they associate with and what are their future plans? It involves serious discussions between both of them as these decisions are life-altering and the outcome will determine how they live their life. All of a sudden, reality strikes and gone are the days of the honeymoon where it was all about fun and games.
The third and final stage is “the commitment stage.” This is whereas the couple and their offspring became so attached to each other that they are one and the same. The number one priority for each is the other as it defines who they are. It takes precedence over all other things (e.g. career, work, vacation, and travel). Hereby, compromise for the good of the whole family is the most important parameter in any decision. Here routine sets in as your direction in life with your partner is defined and you are going via the motions. However, it is not necessarily bad as it is the ultimate and final stage of marriage that leaves it stable and gives it an essence of normalcy.
Apparently, all marriages/relationships go through these stages. Some stages can last a short time while others can last forever. Problems stem when one cannot make the move from one stage to the other. An example, a person who is addicted to the fun of the honeymoon stage runs away and seeks fun elsewhere when his significant other wants to move to the serious stage. The non-ability of both partners to move through the stages together spells the doom of marriages. Please note that there are times when you briefly move to another stage while your essence is in another stage. Also, there is a bit of overlap between the 3 stages and this is quite normal.
So what are your thoughts? Which stage are you in? When can I reach the honeymoon stage? When can you move from one stage to the next?
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